In 2009 graduated from a small liberal arts school called Hillsdale College, which graciously/foolishly invited me to stay around and work. So beginning in late 2009 I worked lived, worked, ate, slept, and breathed in a small town of about 8,000 people in lower Michigan. Nothing I write here should lead you to believe that I have any animus toward small towns in general, nor this town in particular. To the contrary: I was born in and grew up in small towns. I think them in many ways superior to bigger, noisier, more chaotic areas, especially for raising a family.
But I was not (and, for my female readers, am not…) married, and have not exactly been what you would call a world traveler, so the idea of leaving this nest I had built and spreading my wings in the bright lights of the city was cool. I kind of became fixated on doing it.
Then I started asking myself “why?” I had so much going for me at Hillsdale: a great place to work, with people who cared about me, doing worked I loved and believed in. I lived around two of my closest friends. working at a college, I was extending my academic education every single day. The cost of living was low. Nonetheless, the wanderlust, probably fueled by a dash or two of immaturity, and sprinkle of “the grass is greener” mentality, persisted. I wanted to go.
And this brings me to some advice that is really the cornerstone of this chapter, and, maybe the most important thing you can take away from this. (Hint: the reason it’s so good is because I didn’t come up with it.)
My former boss, Chris, when I told him I was thinking of leaving, was naturally supportive, but cautioned me with this:
“Don’t just leave; go TO something.”
Let that process for a second.
My former boss, Chris, when I told him I was thinking of leaving, was naturally supportive, but cautioned me with this:
“Don’t just leave; go TO something.”
Let that process for a second.
Don’t just run away. Making sure you’re running toward something, a goal, a real (and better) next thing. There are lots of ways to say that, and maybe you’ve heard it before - because it’s true.
And that’s something was what I had yet to find at the time I really became serious about making a life transition.
There a host of other small, but not insignificant, personal and professional factors that influenced my decision. Anyone has them, and, taken together, they can tend to influence your decision one way or another in a big way. I’m not going to go as far as to say that there is no right or wrong answer to the question of whether or not you should stay or go, but I’m also not going to pretend to know your situation. I wish you luck, and hope you’ll take that advice seriously. Don’t leave just to leave. Be intentional and got to something better, even if it requires some patience to find.
Answer the following questions, as they may help you get some clarity on whether or not you want to seriously investigate a personal and professional life transition:
1. How long have you been out of college and in your current job?
(As I’ve already said, I had been in my current job, my first full-time out of college for 4 years at the time I left.)
2. At your current job, have you been promoted and/or received received a raise? Do you feel like there is still room to grow, or is there a professional “ceiling” right above you?
(By the time I made my transition I had been promoted twice and received a higher salary in keeping with those promotions. But I was starting to understand that the next move up the ladder would be several years away, at best.)
3. How would you rate your total “quality of life” in your current circumstances? This could include:
There a host of other small, but not insignificant, personal and professional factors that influenced my decision. Anyone has them, and, taken together, they can tend to influence your decision one way or another in a big way. I’m not going to go as far as to say that there is no right or wrong answer to the question of whether or not you should stay or go, but I’m also not going to pretend to know your situation. I wish you luck, and hope you’ll take that advice seriously. Don’t leave just to leave. Be intentional and got to something better, even if it requires some patience to find.
Answer the following questions, as they may help you get some clarity on whether or not you want to seriously investigate a personal and professional life transition:
1. How long have you been out of college and in your current job?
(As I’ve already said, I had been in my current job, my first full-time out of college for 4 years at the time I left.)
2. At your current job, have you been promoted and/or received received a raise? Do you feel like there is still room to grow, or is there a professional “ceiling” right above you?
(By the time I made my transition I had been promoted twice and received a higher salary in keeping with those promotions. But I was starting to understand that the next move up the ladder would be several years away, at best.)
3. How would you rate your total “quality of life” in your current circumstances? This could include:
- Professional factors to consider include your commute, working hours, time off, and benefits
- Personal factors to evaluate cost of living in your area, proximity to family and friends, etc.
4. Finally, how would you evaluate your overall “fitness for change?” Do you think you would handle a major life transition well, even if it meant venturing out on your own?
(I’m a fairly sociable person, and meeting new people tends to come easily. If you are not, you need to be honest about that. Even if it does not sway you away from making a move, it will at least alert you to this possible challenge, of which I’ll offer some ideas later in this “book.”
After answering these questions, you should really ask your family and close friends - people who know you, and will be honest with you - to answer them, and then discuss. Be prepared for some difficult feedback. But if you’re serious about doing the right thing for yourself, you will appreciate it.
